How to Strengthen Self-Worth

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.” ~Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Self-Worth and Mental Health

Self-worth refers to the idea that you are valuable, capable, and worthy of love and respect. It involves awareness of strengths and weaknesses and belief in one’s worth despite external sources like achievements or social validation.

Low self-worth frequently coincides with mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, grief and OCD. Perfectionistic standards and avoidance are common experiences with anxiety and OCD, and they reinforce feelings of inadequacy.

Depression and low self-worth are closely related. Those who are depressed grapple with distorted views of self, others, and the world. Low energy and motivation are common symptoms of depression. These symptoms influence people to isolate themselves from others and reduce their daily activity, exacerbating feelings of unworthiness.

Grief can severely impact self-worth due to loss of purpose, diminished sense of support and validation, and loss of identity (Who am I without my loved one?).

Building self-worth is a regular part of the therapeutic process. It starts from the moment you decide to search for a therapist and continues as you attend sessions regularly. Self-worth tends to naturally build when a healthy therapeutic relationship has been established. Beyond the therapy relationship, building self-worth involves learning to think and behave differently in our daily lives. Below are some of the key strategies I work on with clients to help them develop and improve their self-worth.

Learning and practicing self-compassion

Many people struggle with self-critical thoughts, which can quickly erode self-worth. Learning self-compassion involves treating oneself with grace and compassion, just as we would a close friend or family member. We inherently recognize that when others suffer, it is essential to offer them encouragement and support, yet many of us struggle to do this for ourselves. Therapy involves learning how to reframe self-criticism to self-compassion. In a frustrating moment, we might say to ourselves “Why can’t I do anything right”. Consider what it would be like to instead say to yourself, “I can handle this.”

Practicing humility and self-acceptance

Healthy self-worth includes an honest assessment of one’s strengths and weaknesses. When we can learn to appreciate our strengths and accept our flaws, it sets a healthy foundation. A humble mindset reminds us that we do not have to be perfect to be loved and valuable.

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ~Joseph Campbell

Avoiding comparisons

Comparisons are called “the thief of joy” for a reason (often credited to Theodore Roosevelt). They are often unfair and inaccurate. We take everything we know about ourselves, including our flaws and insecurities, and then measure that against how someone else presents themselves to the world. The result is often jealousy and low self-worth. Social media use frequently results in people comparing themselves unfavorably to the well-curated versions of others. Limiting social media use and considering who we are now compared to earlier versions of ourselves can be more helpful.

Helping others when possible

When we feel down or anxious, it is human nature to try to figure out what is influencing our mood. However, this can lead to overthinking and rumination. Fixating on our problems tends to make them seem more intense and unbearable. Instead, look for someone else to help. It can be as simple as complimenting someone or reaching out to a family member to check in. Feeling useful helps build our sense of worth.

Identifying values and living them daily

Living life based on our emotions or current mood can cause a lot of problems. When we handle difficult situations based on an emotion like anger or sadness, we can end up with regret that affects how we feel about ourselves. I often assist my clients with identifying what matters the most to them and then responding to situations in a way that aligns with their values.

Communicating assertively

The way that we communicate with others affects how we feel about ourselves. Assertive communication involves learning to advocate for oneself while being respectful of others. When my clients regularly practice healthy communication outside of therapy sessions, they begin to demonstrate increased self-confidence and worth.

Biblical Perspective on worth

From a Christian perspective, our worth comes from the knowledge that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. We are created for a purpose, and we are loved and cared for.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 3:16 says, “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He gave up His only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

II Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, My grace is enough for you; for My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in your weakness.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil to give you hope in your final outcome.”

As a human being, you have unconditional worth. One of the things I love most about being a therapist is helping each of my clients discover and build their sense of worth.

If you are struggling with low self-worth, I’d love to help. Feel free to contact me at 630-570-0095 or email at drpamheilman@heilmanps.com.

If you experience a life-threatening emergency or become concerned about the ability to keep yourself or others safe, visit your nearest emergency room or call 9-1-1. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you may call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 9-8-8 to talk to a trained professional.

The content on this website is meant for informational purposes only and is not intended to take the place of mental health diagnosis and treatment. All information is provided on an "as is" basis. Heilman Psychological Services, PLLC does not assume responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions that may occur.